1
00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:02,960

Gorgeous Georgians

2
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,440

Vile Victorians

3
00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:05,840

Ferocious Fights

4
00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:07,280

Daring Knights

5
00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:09,120

Cut-throat Celts

6
00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:10,480

Vicious Vikings

7
00:00:10,520 --> 00:00:12,600

Punishments from ancient times

8
00:00:12,640 --> 00:00:13,960

rank and ruthless

9
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,360

savage, fearsome, toothless

10
00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:16,800

Brainy Sages

11
00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:18,280


12
00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:20,480


13
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:23,280


14
00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:26,320


15
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:31,840

Horrible Histories.

16
00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:36,200
ANNOUNCER: Horrible histories
presents monstrous mothers.

17
00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:39,560
Mums love their kids.

18
00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:42,560
Well, except maybe when we forget
to turn the taps off.

19
00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:44,520
Or we leave
the guinea pig cage open,

20
00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:47,080
or we fight with our brothers
and sisters.

21
00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:50,120
Three of Eleanor of Aquitaine's sons
fought with each other,

22
00:00:50,160 --> 00:00:51,720
but it didn't matter to her.

23
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:54,280
She still thought of them
all as kings.

24
00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:55,840
That's because they were.

25
00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:57,440
King Henry the Young King,

26
00:00:57,480 --> 00:01:00,120
King Richard the Lionheart,
and King John.

27
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:01,560
Eleanor was Queen of England,

28
00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:04,160
and when her sons fought,
they really fought.

29
00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:06,480
Who left the guinea pig cage open?

30
00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:08,040
Oh, no!

31
00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:10,040


32
00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:11,200


33
00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:13,680

And this is our mum

34
00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:15,320


35
00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:17,960

of Aquitaine

36
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:22,360

Oh, oh, oh, oh

37
00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:25,400

I was the Queen of France

38
00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:27,840

Was a bad romance

39
00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:30,320

all the way across to England

40
00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:32,560

my hand

41
00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:35,240

a really great mum

42
00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:40,080

But a happy family was an odd thing

43
00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:42,520

with his dad, the king

44
00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:44,920

my husband and my son

45
00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:47,200


46
00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:49,720

and help my boy Henry to reign

47
00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:51,600


48
00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:52,640


49
00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:54,120


50
00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:57,000

of Aquitaine

51
00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:59,040


52
00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:01,760

of Aquitaine

53
00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:06,760

Oh, oh, oh, oh

54
00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:08,920


55
00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:11,440

set me free

56
00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:14,000

a young wife

57
00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:16,360

for his own life

58
00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:18,760

on a crusade

59
00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:21,120

What an accolade!

60
00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:23,680

in another land

61
00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:26,200

got out of hand

62
00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:28,600


63
00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:30,840

or two or three

64
00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:33,320

and Rich was dead

65
00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:35,880

instead

66
00:02:35,920 --> 00:02:37,720


67
00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:40,600

of Aquitaine

68
00:02:40,640 --> 00:02:42,600


69
00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:45,480

is Queen Eleanor of Aquitaine

70
00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:49,600

Oh, oh, oh, oh

71
00:02:49,640 --> 00:02:52,400

saying Richard had died

72
00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:55,720

by his side, to set him free

73
00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:58,360

bought him all the way home

74
00:02:58,400 --> 00:02:59,600


75
00:02:59,640 --> 00:03:02,080

to always be friends

76
00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:04,640

to his peaceful end

77
00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:06,720

King John

78
00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:09,400

than being a mum

79
00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:12,160


80
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:17,560
RATTUS RATTUS: Spartan soldiers are
some of the toughest in the world.

81
00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:19,080
(GRUNTS)

82
00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:20,520
The only thing tougher than them...

83
00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:21,840
Come on, you muckers!

84
00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:23,720
..are their mums.

85
00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:25,280
Get up, sit up.

86
00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:29,120
This is Spartan Mums.
Are you tough enough?

87
00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:30,440
Come on!

88
00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:35,360
Tell me something. Do you want to be
in the Spartan army?

89
00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:36,760
ALL: Yes, Mummy.

90
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:37,880
What did you say?

91
00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:40,440
Yes, Mummy!
Drop down and give me 300.

92
00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:41,480
(GROANS)

93
00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:44,240
They're good boys,
but they need to grow a spine.

94
00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:45,680
I mean, they're Spartans.

95
00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:47,880
They need to learn to be as tough
as their mothers.

96
00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:52,120
And believe me, we need to be tough
to raise sons as tough as Spartans.

97
00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:54,560
Can I get up now?
Did I say you could speak?

98
00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:55,720
Sorry, Mummy.

99
00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:59,160
I meant to send you pathetic babies
out to fight for us.

100
00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:00,760
Do you want to go to battle

101
00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:03,040
or will you come running home
to your mummy?

102
00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:05,920
No, mummy!
"No, mummy!" A coward!

103
00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:09,360
I should have left you outside on
the hill like your other brother.

104
00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:12,440
What other brother?
Exactly.

105
00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:17,160
What Mummy wants, Mummy gets.
Or you die.

106
00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:20,520
Attention! Let me look at you.

107
00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:22,720
Oh, you don't want us to
get naked again, do you?

108
00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:25,360
That is the best way
to assess your physical fitness.

109
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:27,880
But no, not this time.

110
00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:31,480
Oh, that's a shame.
I've been working on my abs.

111
00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:33,520
Ow. Yeah.

112
00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:35,600
Shields.
Ooh!

113
00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:40,840
These are your shields.
You carry them into battle,

114
00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:43,000
you return with them or on them.

115
00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:44,240
Oh, like a sledge?

116
00:04:44,280 --> 00:04:47,640
No, like a stretcher. Dead, dummy.

117
00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:50,640
Shame about the sledge.
That sounded fun.

118
00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:51,920
(YELLS)

119
00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:55,400
Oh! I weed, I weed.
I'm sorry, Mummy.

120
00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:56,560
Nope. Can't do this.

121
00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:00,400
You are a disgrace!

122
00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:03,800
RATTUS RATTUS: The three
gruelling weeks are over

123
00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:08,440
and this is the end of
the beginning of their training,

124
00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:11,480
which will last
for many years to come.

125
00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:13,080
I want my Mummy!

126
00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:16,480
Archidamus!
I know, drop and give you 300.

127
00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:21,440
One, two. Two and a half...
Oh, it hurts, Mummy!

128
00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:29,000
Thankfully, I'm not a Spartan.
My mum is much more chill.

129
00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:30,560
And here she is.

130
00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:33,120
Hello, love.
Hello, Mummus.

131
00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:35,400
I love it when she comes to visit.

132
00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:38,680
Oh, you've got a lovely place.

133
00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:43,200
I tell all the other parents
my son lives in an actual sewer.

134
00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:46,160
I'm so proud.
Thanks, Mum.

135
00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:48,880
Someone else who loved it
when his mum came to visit

136
00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:52,120
was notorious crime boss Al Capone,

137
00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:55,320
and she used to visit him
when he was in prison.

138
00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:58,640
Imagine living in a nasty place
like a prison.

139
00:05:58,680 --> 00:05:59,720
(SHUDDERS)

140
00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:06,000
Prisoner 85, Alphonse 'Al' Capone,

141
00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:08,200
reporting to see
his approved visitor.

142
00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:10,520
Please be advised that Mr. Capone

143
00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:14,240
is one of the most dangerous
criminal mafia bosses who ever lived.

144
00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:18,360
Now, you listen here,
and you listen goods.

145
00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:20,840
I got something to show you.

146
00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:28,080
I've written you a song, you hear?
It's called 'Mother'.

147
00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:29,480
Ain't that something, Ma?

148
00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:34,600

I think you're so distinguished

149
00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:36,680


150
00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:39,080

you can't speaka da the English.

151
00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:40,120
What?

152
00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:43,960
Hey, you know the rules, Mama Capone.
English only, no Italian.

153
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:46,840
She only speaks Italian,
you great palooka.

154
00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:49,760
Sorry, Al. You know,
I'm just trying to do my job here.

155
00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:51,800
Now, where was I?

156
00:06:51,840 --> 00:06:56,600

I gave my mama some Cadillacs

157
00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:58,240


158
00:06:58,280 --> 00:07:00,920

for evading tax

159
00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:05,200

feeling awful lonely

160
00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:09,400

with your vat of macaroni

161
00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:12,400


162
00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,200
Pasta!

163
00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:18,920

be the king of the city of jazz

164
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,280

and now I'm...

165
00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:27,040
ALL:

166
00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:33,120
Fantastic!
Well done! Well done!

167
00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:35,440
Hey! No Italian.

168
00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:48,440
Hello, I'm Hannah Ayscough,
and this is my son,

169
00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:53,280
Sir Isaac Newton,
mathematician, astronomer, author,

170
00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:55,480
MP, master of the Royal Mint,

171
00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:59,800
discoverer of the laws of gravity,
and failed farmer.

172
00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:01,720
You know, most people
wouldn't have felt the need

173
00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:03,240
to add that bit on the end.

174
00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:06,960
I just don't think you gave farming
a good enough go, Isaac.

175
00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:10,760
I have one of the greatest minds
in the history of science

176
00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:12,840
and mum pulled me
out of school at 17

177
00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:14,880
so I could learn how to be a farmer.

178
00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:16,240
It's a good job!

179
00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:21,800
You get free milk, loads of fresh
air, plus all the manure you can eat.

180
00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:24,240
You don't eat...
Do you even know what manure is?

181
00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:27,960
I...I don't want to be a farmer.

182
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:30,800
Oh, people will always want farmers,
Isaac.

183
00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:33,680
Plus, it'll give you something
to fall back on

184
00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:37,120
if the whole gravity thing
doesn't work out.

185
00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:41,280
If my headmaster hadn't written and
asked mum to send me back to school,

186
00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:43,040
I'd probably be a farmer.

187
00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:44,840
He'd have been a great farmer.

188
00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:46,920
To be fair,
I would have smashed being a farmer.

189
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:48,000
Give your mum a kiss.

190
00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:49,040
No.
Come on.

191
00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:52,720
He loves me.

192
00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:56,120
RATTUS RATTUS: You've heard
of the evil stepmothers

193
00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:58,080
in Cinderella and Snow White.

194
00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:02,600
Well, now it's time
for something new.

195
00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:08,040
Mirror, mirror on the wall.
Who's the loveliest of them all?

196
00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:13,480
An evil stepmother Queen
isn't in this tale.

197
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:18,200
Oh, it's my super stepchildren.
They are the loveliest of them all.

198
00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:23,480
Katherine Parr,
the totally wicked stepmother queen.

199
00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:30,280
Also starring Henry VII's children,
Elizabeth, Edward, and Mary.

200
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:35,120
The dramatic story of how a queen
used her powers over a princess...

201
00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:37,520
Elizabeth.
Yes, stepmother.

202
00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:39,720
These curtains are dusty.

203
00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:44,520
I'd better open them to keep the
dust away from this lovely picture.

204
00:09:44,560 --> 00:09:48,200
..to help bring her back into favour
with her father.

205
00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:51,440
May I keep it, stepmother?
No, you may not.

206
00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:52,680
It's ugly...
Oh.

207
00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:57,200
..how your father has treated you,
beheading your mother, Anne Boleyn,

208
00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:59,120
and saying you're not
his proper daughter.

209
00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:01,800
That's why I'm gifting
this painting to the king

210
00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:03,640
to remind him how lovely you are.

211
00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:07,320
Lovely.
Yes, you're lovely.

212
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:16,840
The tale of how Henry VII's final
wife put her children to work...

213
00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:23,240
..on their education,
which she actively encouraged.

214
00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:26,920
Congratulations on another A star,
you absolute boffin.

215
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,520
Ah! Thanks, Stepmummy.

216
00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:30,920
You're just as clever
as your sister.

217
00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:33,200
God has given you great qualities.

218
00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:36,120
Cultivate them always
and labour to improve them.

219
00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:39,920
But then there was Mary...

220
00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:42,880
Stepmother, what are you doing?

221
00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:45,480
Why? Cutting a rose
for your beautiful hair.

222
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,680
..who she was also really lovely to.

223
00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:50,440
Coming soon...

224
00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:52,480
(CACKLES WILDLY)

225
00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:56,480
..to a theatre near you,
Katherine Parr...

226
00:10:57,680 --> 00:10:59,360
Guys, soup's ready.

227
00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:02,640
..the totally wicked
stepmother queen.

228
00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:08,680
Oh, yes, if you have a loving mum
or stepmum at home,

229
00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:10,400
then you're very lucky.

230
00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:12,880
I learned everything I know
from my mum.

231
00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:14,920
(FARTS LOUDLY)

232
00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:17,240
Yep, that's where I get it from.

233
00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:20,680
Mums will always see their kids
as their babies,

234
00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:22,280
even when we're grown up.

235
00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:25,400
When legendary lawyer
and political figure Mahatma Gandhi

236
00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:28,160
first left his home
in India to study in London,

237
00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:31,840
his mum Putlibai found it hard
to let him go.

238
00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:34,840
Well, it's hard
when your kids leave home.

239
00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:38,600
Oh, you've got a little bit of fur
out of place. Let me stick it down.

240
00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:41,680
Mum, stop! No, no!
Come on.

241
00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:42,760
No, Mum.
Come on.

242
00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:46,560
Ah! I can't quite believe it.

243
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:50,800
My little Mohandas, all grown up
and heading to London.

244
00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:54,560
We are so proud of you.
Try not to change too much.

245
00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:55,640
I won't, mama.

246
00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:58,000
But just imagine I'll be at
the centre of it all,

247
00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:00,240
meeting brilliant men and women.

248
00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:01,400
Ow!

249
00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:04,360
These English women can't be trusted,
Mohandas.

250
00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:08,600
You're staying put with a nice
Indian woman, just like your mama.

251
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:11,040
I'm going to study law, Mother,
not women.

252
00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:16,200
OK, if I promise to stay away
from women, please, can I go?

253
00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:19,600
I promise I'll study the whole time
in my rooms, in the libraries,

254
00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:21,600
and in the local pubs
where I'll discuss important...

255
00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:23,440
Ow! Can you stop doing that?

256
00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:27,280
No pubs, no women,
no wine, no England.

257
00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:30,680
It's just like your uncle says,
"You'll become too European."

258
00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:33,680
You're staying?
No. No, mama.

259
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:39,800
Oh, mama, you're strong.
OK, OK. No women, no wine, no pubs.

260
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:42,760
Just studying.
And, of course, eating.

261
00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:45,480
Right.
Mama, Mama, Mama.

262
00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:48,840
No!
Ah! Where did that come from?

263
00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:51,600
Oh, sorry. What are you doing?

264
00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:55,560
English food is full of heavy meat.
You're a vegetarian.

265
00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:58,840
My little Mohandas is staying put.

266
00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:04,800
OK, if I promise to stay away
from women and wine...

267
00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:05,920
..and meat.

268
00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:10,920
Fine, meat, fine.
..can I please go to England?

269
00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:14,200
But of course you can, silly.
Thank you.

270
00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:17,800
I better go get my suitcase.
Ow!

271
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:21,080
And possibly fetch a doctor
for the man that it landed on.

272
00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:22,280
You're a good boy.

273
00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:26,080
Oh, and Mohandas.
Yes, Mama.

274
00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:28,240
Don't forget to have fun, beta.

275
00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:29,520
OK, Mummy.

276
00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:38,440
Hiya. It's me, Cleopatra,
pharaoh of Egypt.

277
00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:42,280
And this is my son by Julius Caesar,
Caesarion.

278
00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:43,320
Hi, guys.

279
00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:45,320
Shall I tell them what I call you?
Please don't.

280
00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:46,400
Why not?
It's embarrassing.

281
00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:47,560
It's not.
No.

282
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:49,480
Please don't do this to me again.
Come on.

283
00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:52,480
But it's so cute.
Alright, fine. Go on then.

284
00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:56,920
I call him Ptolemy Caesar Pilopator
Philometor The Pharaoh.

285
00:13:56,960 --> 00:14:00,120
A god, a son of gods,
a king of kings,

286
00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:03,120
the living image of the god Amun.

287
00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:06,240
I mean, I bet all mums have
pet names for their kids, right?

288
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:07,600
Boop!

289
00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:09,320
Squeezy wheezy.

290
00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:15,280
(IN FRENCH ACCENT) Most children
would do anything for their mothers,

291
00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:16,320
wouldn't they?

292
00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:18,080
(IN SCOTTISH ACCENT)
Ha! Well, not my son!

293
00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:21,360
When my cousin, Queen Elizabeth
locked me up for 19 years,

294
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:24,400
I wrote to my wee boy,
King James VI of Scotland,

295
00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:26,200
to ask him to help me get out.

296
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:29,200
And I must say I was
rather disappointed.

297
00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:37,520
(IN FRENCH ACCENT)
Bonour, James, Maman here.

298
00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:40,080
I do hope that you
are enjoying looking after...

299
00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:42,240
(IN SCOTTISH ACCENT)
..my Scottish throne for me!

300
00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,400
(IN FRENCH ACCENT)
This is just another message

301
00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:47,400
asking if I
can perhaps come and visit.

302
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:50,120
Maman does so miss her darling boy.

303
00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:53,040
(IN SCOTTISH ACCENT) And also the
crown that your friends stole from me

304
00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:54,560
and gave to you.

305
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:56,320
(IN FRENCH ACCENT)
I'm not going anywhere...

306
00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:58,440
(IN SCOTTISH ACCENT) ..because
I'm locked up in this castle.

307
00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:04,560
Hey, Mum. Got your messages.
All of them.

308
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,400
I miss you, too. Sort of.

309
00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:09,240
I mean, I've not actually seen you
since I was, like, 13 months old.

310
00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:11,160
I would absolutely love you
to visit.

311
00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:15,200
It's just, well you know
Cousin Elizabeth, Queen of England?

312
00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:17,840
She might be a little bit upset

313
00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:20,040
if you don't stay away
from Scotland.

314
00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:22,080
And we wouldn't wanna annoy her,
now, would we? So...

315
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:24,640
A big bag of money just arrived
from Queen Elizabeth, Your Majesty.

316
00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:25,800
Oh.

317
00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:28,240
That money has absolutely nothing
to do with me siding with Elizabeth.

318
00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:29,960
Gotta go now, Mum. Bye.

319
00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:34,240
(IN FRENCH ACCENT)
Sweetie pie, I am so happy

320
00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:37,240
that you are getting on
so well with Cousin Elizabeth.

321
00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:42,800
If you could perhaps ask her to not
accidentally execute me or something.

322
00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:46,680
(IN SCOTTISH ACCENT) If she can
do it to me, she can do it to you.

323
00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:51,080
Mummy, chill, Cousin Lizzie
is an honourable queen.

324
00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:53,800
She would never allow harm
to come to another mortal.

325
00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:55,800
Trust me.
More money from England, Sire.

326
00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:58,120
Seriously? Not the time.
We talked about this.

327
00:15:58,160 --> 00:15:59,280
(THUD!)
Oh.

328
00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:06,240
Oh, James, Jimmy, James,
how is one?

329
00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:07,600
Look, this is just a quick note

330
00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:10,440
to tell you that
I accidentally executed mother.

331
00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:12,360
I mean, it wasn't a total accident.

332
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:14,840
I did sign her death warrant,
obviously,

333
00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:17,520
but I had second thoughts, so...

334
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,000
Um, sad face.

335
00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:22,200
Sad face.

336
00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:26,560
Elizabeth!

337
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:32,000
Hey, no worries at all about
the whole killing-my-mum thing.

338
00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:34,720
We're cool.
We are still cool, right?

339
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:39,920
Because I really would love to...
to be King of England after you.

340
00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:42,080
Anyway, it was good to hang,
not hang.

341
00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:43,880
Losing my head here,
not lose my head.

342
00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:45,960
OK, got to go.
OK. Bye bye. Bye bye.

343
00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:50,040
That was close. She's terrifying.
Aye.

344
00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:52,240
I think that's still on, Sire.

345
00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:53,280
(GASPS)

346
00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:57,000
Hello, loyal subjects,
Queen Victoria here.

347
00:16:57,040 --> 00:17:01,840
Queen of the United Kingdom, Empress
of India, and grandmother of Europe.

348
00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:06,720
But despite having nine children,
I wasn't actually a huge fan of them.

349
00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:10,800
So which of these
did I actually say about babies?

350
00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:11,840
Was it...

351
00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:26,200
The answer is B, they have
a terrible frog-like action.

352
00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:28,800
I took the liberty of organising
a demonstration, ma'am.

353
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:31,240
Is this really necessary?
Yes.

354
00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:34,480
I feel it helps clarify what you
mean by baby froggy action, ma'am.

355
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:37,080
No, no, no. Stop that at once.

356
00:17:37,120 --> 00:17:39,080
It's reminding me of
an actual ugly baby.

357
00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:41,280
And an ugly baby is
a very nasty object.

358
00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:43,560
Oh, please let him do it.
No!

359
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:45,440
Oh, plugh!

360
00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:47,960
You're just
as much of a big baby as him.

361
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,040
Oh.

362
00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:54,880
Only nine children? There were
18 in your litter, Rattus.

363
00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:57,800
And I'd already had 40 babies
that year.

364
00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:01,040
Imagine dealing with
that many nappies.

365
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,640
Yeah, particularly with what
you did in them.

366
00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:05,200
Mum!

367
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:08,920
At least Queen Victoria will have
had staff to help her.

368
00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:10,160
You're right.

369
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:13,800
But being a mother was a lot tougher
for other women in Victorian times,

370
00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:15,960
especially if they were
working mums.

371
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,040
Oh, yes.

372
00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:19,280
Welcome to the mill.

373
00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:21,760
It's the perfect place
for a working mum.

374
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:23,720
Try not to get your fingers
trapped in the loom

375
00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:25,800
'cause it's a pain getting
the blood off the fabric.

376
00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:26,840
Oh.

377
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:29,760
Daisy, you better not be playing
hide and seek in the machine.

378
00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:30,800
(CLATTER)
(SCREAMS)

379
00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:32,080
Found you.

380
00:18:32,120 --> 00:18:35,520
Uh, I heard there are
good childcare facilities here.

381
00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:37,000
Oh, aye, there certainly are.

382
00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:38,800
We stick them
in a bucket of sawdust.

383
00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:40,200
Harry?
Yes, Mum.

384
00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:43,240
You're going to be keeping
an eye on Betty's baby.

385
00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:45,760
Where did you get
that metal bolt?

386
00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:47,720
Um, found it.
Incoming!

387
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,200
Oi!

388
00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:53,000
Right. Well, go and have five minutes
play. This is grown-up talk.

389
00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:55,760
And no gymnastics
in the revolving shaft.

390
00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:58,400
You're not made of legs.
Whoo-hoo!

391
00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:00,640
Have all your children
grown up here, then?

392
00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:04,280
Oh, aye, Harry were born halfway
through a 12-hour shift.

393
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:07,480
He just came out
while I were at the loom.

394
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:10,840
William, stop using
that machine as a catapult.

395
00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:13,400
You'll knock the pie off the engine.
Yes, Mum.

396
00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:17,640
Pie. Is that a technical term?
No, it's chicken and leek.

397
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:20,600
We heat up the children's lunches
on the steam engine

398
00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:21,920
that powers the looms.

399
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:25,960
Harry, watch your fingers
in the loom. How many times...

400
00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:29,000
(SCREAMS)
Oh, somebody get Harry a bandage.

401
00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:32,840
Don't stick your tongue
in the spinning Jenny, Jenny.

402
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,840
Don't worry, it's not
always as quiet as this.

403
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:41,320
Oh, it's great being a working mum,
in't it?

404
00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:42,640
Mmm.

405
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:44,960
Oh.

406
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:50,000
Isn't this exciting?

407
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:53,520
No one in the family has ever
had a proper photograph before.

408
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:56,680
Well, photographing children
is my speciality, ma'am.

409
00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:59,880
And may I say how truly lovely
you look today?

410
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:02,000
It's a shame, really.

411
00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:04,040
What?

412
00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:07,040
Now everybody stay there.
Say cheese.

413
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:08,880
Sorry. What is going on?

414
00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:12,600
Oh. Well, did you not
want a rug over your head?

415
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:14,200
No. Of course not.

416
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:18,960
OK. Um, well, uh, we do also
offer this option.

417
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:23,400
If you just move forward, miss,
and, ma'am, stand there.

418
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:26,000
Perfect.

419
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:29,640
Now, daguerreotype photographs
take a long time.

420
00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:33,000
What are you doing?
Why am I behind a curtain?

421
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:35,120
Did you want me to disguise you
as an armchair?

422
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:36,200
Because it'll cost more.

423
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:40,000
I don't want to be photographed
at all. It's just the children.

424
00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:42,440
Well, how do you expect me
to manage that, then?

425
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:45,280
It takes the camera several minutes
to take a picture.

426
00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:48,080
And if they move around at all,
it'll come out blurry.

427
00:20:48,120 --> 00:20:50,560
Do you think your kids are gonna
stay still for that long?

428
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:52,720
What do you think?
You're gonna have to hold them.

429
00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:55,440
Now, you can either be under a rug,

430
00:20:56,720 --> 00:21:01,280
behind a curtain,
or disguised as an armchair.

431
00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:04,000
Hang on a minute. I got an idea.

432
00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:08,200
Why don't you sit here in the middle
with the little one on your lap?

433
00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:09,520
I really don't want to.

434
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:12,840
Don't you worry.
No one will know you're there.

435
00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:15,760
Oh, thank you.

436
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:18,840
I just didn't want to do anything
to make the photo look silly.

437
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:22,080
Now, remember, it takes
a few minutes to take a picture.

438
00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:26,440
So everyone say cheese...for ages.

439
00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:28,960
ALL: Cheese.

440
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:38,080
Imagine not being able to
take a picture together.

441
00:21:38,120 --> 00:21:39,600
Smile, Mum.
Oh, yeah.

442
00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:40,840
OK, cheese.

443
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:46,280
Oh, send me that.
I'll put it on my socials.

444
00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:53,160



445
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:55,960
Mum, I don't
think you understand hashtags.

446
00:21:56,000 --> 00:22:00,040

Oh, but I do love you, too.

447
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:03,640
Of course, lots of people throughout
history also love their mums.

448
00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:07,480
In some cases, maybe a bit too much.

449
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:09,880
Attention, people of
the Zulu nation,

450
00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:15,000
our warrior king Shaka Zulu
has some extremely sad news.

451
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:18,000
My mother, Nandi is dead.

452
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:20,840
Not only was she
an excellent protector,

453
00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:23,160
but she was the best chief adviser

454
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:25,840
a marauding Zulu warrior king
could have asked for.

455
00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:27,120
(WARRIORS CHEER)

456
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:31,720
As such, I am commanding that
everyone in the Zulu Kingdom

457
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:34,360
will enter
a period of mourning.

458
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:36,240
And that is the end of
the announcement.

459
00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:38,960
And in honour of my mother...
OK, there's a little bit more.

460
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:42,720
..I decree that during
this period of mourning,

461
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:48,520
all 20,000 of you gathered here
will wail for hours on end.

462
00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:52,240
And I want proper tears.
None of these fake tears.

463
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:54,880
Like, "Oh, no, I am sad."

464
00:22:54,920 --> 00:23:00,440
I want everyone to cry hard
until they are dehydrated.

465
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:03,000
And how long would you like them
to mourn for, Shaka?

466
00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:05,720
A day or two days.
One year.

467
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:06,960
One year?

468
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:11,040
Anything less would be
a disgrace to my poor mother.

469
00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:13,080
And that is the end of
the announcement.

470
00:23:13,120 --> 00:23:20,160
And, also, no one is to plant any
crops during this year of mourning.

471
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:22,680
Shaka, that seems
a little extreme.

472
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:24,320
What will the people eat?

473
00:23:24,360 --> 00:23:27,080
Excuse me, did you not hear
that my mother has died

474
00:23:27,120 --> 00:23:28,960
and all you can think about is food.

475
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:31,760
Show some respect.
Well, you are the king.

476
00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:33,880
And thus this ends the...
And also...

477
00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:35,000
No, he's still going.

478
00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:40,840
..I want all the milk cows
across the nation slaughtered

479
00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:45,040
so all the cows can feel the pain
that I am feeling right now.

480
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:48,440
OK, maybe let's just, you know,
dial this back a little bit.

481
00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:51,200
Don't worry about
where you will get your milk,

482
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:56,280
as everyone is banned from
drinking it in honour of my mother.

483
00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:57,680
Why is no one wailing?

484
00:23:57,720 --> 00:24:00,440
The year-long period of mourning
started five minutes ago.

485
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:04,920
(WAILS FEEBLY)
You call that wailing?

486
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:08,160
(WAIL LOUDER)

487
00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:13,520
Cry me a river.
Yes, yes, that is top-notch wailing.

488
00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:17,680
You are going to kill him
for this and take over, right?

489
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:19,120
Yeah, like almost immediately.

490
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:20,880
What did you say?
Nothing.

491
00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:24,400
(WAILS)
Yes, that's it. From the diaphragm.

492
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:29,280
Hello. Nero Claudius
Caesar Augustus Germanicus here.

493
00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:31,000
Or Emperor Nero, for short.

494
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:33,000
I was Roman Emperor number five,

495
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:36,760
but I was number one when it
came to playing the bagpipes.

496
00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:41,080
I loved playing the bagpipes.
Didn't like my mum quite as much.

497
00:24:41,120 --> 00:24:43,160
In fact, I actually
tried to have her killed.

498
00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:46,840
Naughty.
But tell me, how did I do that?

499
00:24:57,360 --> 00:25:00,960
The answer is A,
and also B, and also C.

500
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,960
Some people send their mum
lovely flowers.

501
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:06,360
Some send her chocolates.
I sent her assassins.

502
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:07,720
I wasn't a great son.

503
00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:12,280
But I'll tell you what I was
great at, playing the bagpipes.

504
00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:14,200
And so, to lighten the mood,

505
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:16,720
I'll play you out
with this little number I prepared.

506
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:19,040
A one, a two, a one, two, three,
and...

507
00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:23,960
That's it for our look at
some of history's monstrous mums

508
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:27,400
and some magnificent mums too,
just like my mum.

509
00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:29,240
Thanks for helping out.

510
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:31,360
Oh, you're welcome, darling.

511
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:36,560
Oh, and I put that video of you as
a baby dancing in your nappy online.

512
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:40,400
It's got a million hits.
You're going to be famous.

513
00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:43,160
Thanks, Mum. Fame at last.

514
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:47,880
But a real big thank you to all
the mums and stepmums everywhere.

515
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:48,920
Mmm.

516
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:52,880

My Alex is so great

517
00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:56,960

the whole world

518
00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:59,600


519
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:03,720

it would have unfurled

520
00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:06,720


521
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:10,400

I kept him by my side

522
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:13,000


523
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:16,680

and his new wife had died.

524
00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:22,400
Coincidence?


525
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:24,240
I fought for my grandson too.

526
00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:28,560


527
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:33,560


528
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:36,720

was marry them all off

529
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:41,640

and an iron will

530
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:43,640


531
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:48,400

for Marie Antoinette

532
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:50,520


533
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:53,800


534
00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:57,320

you get a throne by chance.

535
00:26:57,360 --> 00:27:01,240


536
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:05,160
Admittedly,
it didn't play out perfectly.

537
00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:09,360


538
00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:16,120

hey, shelf, hey, shelf

539
00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:18,280


540
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:21,080

all the mothers out there

541
00:27:21,120 --> 00:27:22,640


542
00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:25,760

back from those devils

543
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:27,560


544
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:30,240

and dedicate your life

545
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:33,680

to anyone else's kids.

546
00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:38,160
Wow. My attempts at matchmaking
feel kind of weak right now.

547
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:42,800


548
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:44,720

We do what we can

549
00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:49,360


550
00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:02,840
Nothing up here, mate. Nothing.

551
00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:08,120


552
00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:12,880

Horrible Histories.

553
00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:13,920
Captions by Red Bee Media

554
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:14,960
Copyright Australian
Broadcasting Corporation